


Bubblegum Hit-and-Run

by luq



Series: Supernatural Shorts and Snapshots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bickering, Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Friendship, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 00:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14484237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luq/pseuds/luq
Summary: Dean believes that one good turn deserves another. Castiel does not indulge childish behavior, no matter what Gabriel says. Sam just wants some peace and quiet.





	Bubblegum Hit-and-Run

**Author's Note:**

> A little scene set in no particular time. Enjoy!

Castiel, Angel of The Lord, stared impassively at Dean Winchester, former Vessel of the Archangel Michael, current Pain in The Ass of The Angel of The Lord, who in turn stared in horror at the obscene image scratched across the hood of his car. Sam Winchester, former Vessel of Lucifer, current Favorite of the Angel of The Lord, sat crammed in the passenger seat with his nose in a book.

“Dean,” Castiel said flatly, pushing his voice to the lowest register of which his vessel was capable, “I—“

“If you finish that sentence with ‘told you so,’ Cas, I swear to God I will—“

“ _Told you_ ,” Castiel continued, “That Gabriel would not take kindly to being run over.”

“He killed me seventy-six—“

“Seventy-nine," Sam piped up from inside the car. Dean shot him a glare.

“ _Seventy-nine_ times, but I just barely tap him in a parking lot—“

“There is a dent in the asphalt, Dean," Castiel pointed out fairly.

“—Just. Barely,” Dean was nearly shouting now, “Tapped him with my car, and he does _this?_ ” He waved his hands wildly in the direction of the hood. Castiel remembered to blink, and then did it again for practice.

"I don't see the need for theatrics, Dean--"

"Oh,  _you're_ talking to me about theatrics?" Castiel inhaled slowly through his nose, then continued as though Dean had not interrupted:

"--when this problem is so easily fixed." He glanced pointedly at the car, then back to Dean when Gabriel's _artwork_ vanished. Dean spluttered incoherently. Castiel grinned mildly. The car shined shinily.

"It's the principle!" Dean managed to spit out after a moment, and Castiel nodded with a very solemn expression. "Don't give me that  _look!_ " Dean snapped.

"Which of my expressions would you prefer?"

"I- you-" Dean leaned against the Impala, and grit his teeth before looking up at the open sky. " _Gabriel!_ "

Castiel blinked. 

Dean tapped his foot.

Gabriel materialized on the roof of the Impala, with a _thump_ that made Sam jump in his seat. He calmly unwrapped a piece of bubblegum, and popped it into his mouth with an expression of smug contentment.

"Howdy."

"Don't 'howdy' me, you son of a bitch." Dean pointed to the hood of his car. "You hurt my baby."

Gabriel raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Need I remind you that _you_ ran _me_ over in a dollar store parking lot," he glanced at his bare wrist, "fifteen minutes ago. And your... babylooks fine to me." He blew a bubble, and threw Castiel a narrow glare. "Traitor," he added.

"He wasn't going to let it go."

"You  _indulge_ him. It gives me a bellyache."

"I am  _right_ here," Dean announced. Neither angel so much as glanced in his direction.

"I am simply aiding in conflict resolution-"

"In Dad's name, since  _when?_ "

"-and I don't think that childish behavior should be encouraged-"

"Oh, like running over archangels in dollar store parking lots? That kind of childish behavior?"

"-and  _furthermore_ I would prefer not to ride in a vehicle decorated with a crudely rendered-"

"Guys!" Dean had reached his limit. Gabriel grinned with many teeth, and Dean contained a shudder. "This is all really fun. Really. I'm having a ball. But can we get our asses back on the road and kill this-- whatever the hell--"

"Troll," Sam supplied, not looking up from his book. Dean rolled his eyes. 

"Troll. Fine. Alright, everyone in the car, we're getting this show back on the--  _hey!_ " Gabriel leaned back in the front passenger seat, smiling like he hadn't a care in the world, while Sam sat starkly upright in the backseat looking thoroughly wrong-footed.

"Shotgun," said Gabriel pleasantly. Castiel glared at him over Dean's shoulder, and Gabriel's grin widened.

"Castiel," Dean whined, turning to face him with wide, pleading eyes. Castiel smiled blandly, and tilted his head. Dean blanched.

"He, as you say, 'called shotgun,' Dean," Castiel said with a shrug, brushing past Dean to join Sam in the back seat. "And I would truly hate to disrupt such a sacred tradition."

Dean gaped after him, before squaring his shoulders and sliding into the car, ignoring Gabriel's friendly wave.

"Driver," he said, pointing his thumb at himself, "picks the music. Shotgun," he jabbed a finger in Gabriel's direction, "shuts his cakehole. Capisce?"

Gabriel threw him a mock-salute, folded his arms behind his head, closed his eyes, and sighed with great contentment. Dean eyed him suspiciously. 

"I mean it." 

"Sure thing, Dean-o." 

In the back seat, Castiel and Sam exchanged a long-suffering glance. Sam returned to his book with a sigh. Castiel met Gabriel's eyes in the rearview mirror, and a silent exchange was held:

_Kindly refrain from whatever it is that you're planning._

_You wound me._

_Gabriel._

_Cassie!_

Castiel leveled Gabriel with a stern look. Gabriel smiled innocently, and closed his eyes again. 

Dean turned the key, oblivious, and the Impala rumbled to life. He relaxed in his seat, rummaged in the glove compartment, and produced a cassette tape labeled 'Black Sabbath.' Sliding the tape into its slot, Dean shifted the Impala into gear and pulled out onto the open road. A brief moment of blissful, blessed quiet, and then-

The tinny opening notes of an upbeat pop song flooded the car. Sam closed his eyes in resignation. Dean's face went alarmingly red, and he swore extravagantly over Gabriel's raucous laughter.

Castiel did not so much as twitch. He sat perfectly still, hands folded primly in his lap, silent in a way that he desperately hoped conveyed _maturity_ and  _dignity_ and  _I will not participate in this foolishness._

Castiel focused on the stereo, and the music smoothly transitioned to the intended song. It was an observation of the Rules, Castiel reasoned. Observation of the Rules made for a relatively peaceful car ride. A relatively peaceful car ride made for well-rested hunters. Well-rested hunters were less likely to be injured. 

If the sound quality was a little more crisp than it had been originally, it was a predictable side effect of angelic interference.

If the lines at the corners of Dean's eyes deepened with a suppressed grin, it was a simple human response to pleasing stimulus.

And if Castiel couldn't quite help smiling, just a little, in return... Well. Mirroring human expressions, after all this time, was to be expected.

Nothing to note.

Hardly remarkable.

Gabriel blew a bubble, and threw Castiel a smug look in the mirror.

_Inulgent._

Castiel elected to ignore him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was as much fun to read as it was to write. (Hint: it was a lot of fun to write.) Please feel free to drop some kudos and commentary!


End file.
